By Kathleen T. Pelley
Contessa Princessa led a lovely life in her henhouse on 11 Linden Lane. Whenever she needed something, all she had to do was kick up one of her hullabaloos. If she needed some fresh straw, she kicked up a HURRY UP AND GET IT hullabaloo. If she felt a little chilly, she kicked up a HURRY UP AND WARM ME UP hullabaloo. And when the new neighbor’s Chihuahua snapped at her through the fence, she kicked up a HURRY UP AND FIX THE FENCE hullabaloo.
Everyone adored Contessa Princessa.
Whenever she laid an egg, they cooed, “You are sooooooo clever!”
Whenever she strutted by with a wiggle of her wattle, they trilled, “You are sooooo beee-yooooo-teeee-full!”
And she had such a knack for imitating all kinds of noises that her plip-plip-plop of raindrops made everyone grab their umbrellas, her donkey hee-haw made little Polly jump and giggle, and her yip-yip-yippee-aroo of a coyote made them all gawk and gasp, “She is soooooo smart!”
But everything changed the day a crate arrived outside the henhouse, and out strutted….
Lolita and Lupita!
“Adorable!” everyone agreed. “Precious darlings!”
“DEEZ-GUSTING!” sputtered Contessa Princessa. “I am zee precious one around here! Shoo! Shoo! ”
Then she kicked up one of her hullabaloos – a horrid hissy huffy hullabaloo.
Everyone pleaded, “Be nice.”
But Contessa Princessa only hullabalooed even more.
That made everyone do something they had never done. They scolded her.
That only made matters worse….much worse.
Everyone despaired. But then, little Polly had an idea.
“TIME OUT for you, Contessa Princessa!”
Contessa Princessa looked around. She was cluckless with rage. Then she stamped and stomped and squawked and screeched and stewed herself up into one of her hullaballoos – a mighty HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME hullaballoo.
It lasted three days and three nights.
Everyone grew worried. “Maybe we need to send her away to Cousin Consuela’s farm in the country.”
Contessa Princessa gulped. “What? Zend me? Zee precious Princessa ? To a farm? In zee country?”
She flopped to the ground, droopy with sorrow and began to sob. She sobbed as twilight turned to dusk. She sobbed as the moon bloomed and the stars blinked. She sobbed until she had no more sobs left.
“What –hic- will be come of –hic-me?”
Then she heard a flutter and a ruffle.
“There, there! Don’t be sad,” cooed Lolita and Lupita.
Contessa Princessa sniffed and sidled close for a snuggly snooze.
Suddenly a scraping and a scratching startled them awake.
Contessa Princessa broke into a HURRY UP AND SAVE US hullabaloo. But – no one came.
“Save us!” begged Lolita and Lupita.
Contessa Princessa summoned her smarts. Only one sound would scare this wily Chihuahua…
“YIP YIP YIPPEEEOAROOO !”
Chihuahua froze. Chihuahua yelped. Chihuahua fled – fast as fire.
In the morning everyone rejoiced to see the happy trio.
Back in the henhouse Contessa Princessa returned to her lovely life with Lolita and Lupita tottering after her chirping, “You are sooooo smart! You are sooooo beee-yooooo-teeee-full! You are sooooo brave!”
And sooooo happy was Contessa Princessa that she kicked up a brand new hullaballoo – a jolly, jolly happy hullaballoo.
And everyone joined in…