Discover How to Pick the Perfect Prince with this Fun Fractured Fairytale
An old English tale about a little alarmist, scaremonger, Chicken Little, who convinces all his friends that the sky is falling and so off they go to tell the king himself, but along the way a wiley fox lures them to his den. (duration- 9 minutes) An episode from kids’ podcast, Journey with Story
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What qualities do you look for in choosing a friend? Do you tend to get on best with someone who is funny, or chatty, or very adventurous, or someone who likes sports or someone who loves to read or who loves to cook or bake?
Hello everyone. I’m Kathleen Pelley. Welcome to Journey with Story. Today’s episode is a special kind of story called a Fractured Fairytale (that just means it puts a special twist into an old fairy tale to make it bit more modern) and it is all about a princess who is trying to find a young man who will be her husband and help her rule her country wisely. This version is adapted from a version from a storyteller called Beth Horner.
Oh, this episode is dedicated to a new Unicorn patreon subscriber – EVANA, from Michigan. Thank you for becoming a patreon subscriber. And I heard you had a birthday on FEB 10th Evana – you turned 9 years old – so a very happy belated birthday to you. And that is not all, Evana sent a terrific drawing from the Talking Skull episode – Thank you so much for that, Evana.
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Let’s take a journey with The Young and Dashing Princess
There was once a king with a terrible temper
He had three sons. One of the sons was not what you would call – a ball of fire! He would wake up at around twelve noon every day, go down the stairs….very slowly…one step at a time, and then sit down and sip his cup of tea – one sip at a time. If he was feeling particularly perky and energetic, he would take a brief stroll in the garden before going up the stairs, one step at a time and return to his bed. As I said, he was NOT a ball of fire. This was the first son.
Ka– plunk…ka-plunk – ka– plunk
Now the other son, he was a ball of fire – he was full of energy. Each day he would leap out of bed, bound down the stairs two at a time and be busy busy busy all day long. And as he was busy doing things, he would chatter non-stop about what it was he was doing. He would tell you all about the great things he had done, all the great and wonderful things that he was currently doing, and all about the great, wonderful and incredible things that he was going to do in the near future.
So energetic and so full of life was he, that he told everyone he was going to be a high flying chief royal adviser . He was the second son.
And of course, there was one more son. We will talk about him more later in the story. He was the third son.
One day the bad–tempered king was climbing onto his enormous throne, when he heard something approaching the castle. It was a galloping horse….
There was a bold knock on the door.
When the king opened the door, who should he see standing there but…
A young and dashing princess.
“What do you want?” asked the king with the terrible temper
“Hello King” said the young and dashing princess –TA DUM
I live in the country right next to you. My parents, the King and the Queen are getting ready to retire and so I am about to take the throne. I have watched my parents rule the land for many, many years and they have done very well together. Sooooo.. I was thinking, it might be nice to have someone rule by my side. I am looking around now for that special someone, and I hear you have some sons who might just be what I am looking for.
“Indeed I do,” said the king with the terrible temper. GRRRR
In fact, I have just the one for you. And he went to the bottom of the stairs and called for the first son.
Ka-plunk ka-plunk ka-plunk, he came down the stairs one – step –at –a time.
I have three questions for you,” said the young and dashing princess – TA DUM
The first question – if there were poor and needy people in the land, how would you feed and shelter them?
“Hmmm,” mused the prince. ‘Well, I think I would have a cup of tea and mull it over for a while.”
I see, said the princess, thoughtfully. Second question – Would you be willing to eat haggis with me every night for supper as that is my favorite food ever?”
Hmmm, mused the prince. “Well, first I would have a cup of tea and mull it over.”
I see, said the princess, thoughtfully. Third question – if we have daughters, will you be willing to teach them how to fence and joust and tame dragons?
“Oh, said the prince, Well, I would have to have a cup of tea and mull it over.’
“king,” announced the young and dashing princess. TA DUM
I am NOT marrying your first son.
Ka-plunk ka-plunk –ka plunk
“Rats” said the king with the terrible temper. GRRRR
Never fear, he said. I have ANOTHER son. And he went to the bottom of the stairs and called out for the second son.
AAAACK he bounded down the stairs two – three four steps at a time, leapt to the bottom and announced, Princess, I am the one for you.
“Ah,”said the young and dashing princess. TA DUM
“But first a few questions.
If there were poor and needy in the land, how would you feed and shelter them?”
“That is easy,” said the second son. I would tell them to get a move on – lickety split – they just need to go out and get a job. They need to spruce themselves up like me – put on their best clothes and get out there and meet people That is what they should do.”
“Hmm, I see,” said the princess. “Second question – would you be willing to eat haggis with me every night for supper as that is my favorite food in all the world.”
“Sweet girl – don’t you worry your pretty little princess head about something so trivial – so utterly not worth thinking about. With me at your side, I will be in charge of EVERYTHING in the castle and I will have the cook make exactly what I like to eat every night and you can eat what I am having – you can eat my favorite food.”
“I see,” said the princess. “Third and final question –if we have daughters, will you be willing to teach them how to fence and joust and tame dragons?”
“Well, no time for that when I am on the throne. Don’t you know, I am going to do great and wonderful things with my life that will keep my busy busy busy. After all I am going to be the Chief Royal Counselor in the LAND – everyone will want to meet me and learn from me. There will be no time for teaching fencing and jousting and all that nonsense. I will be far too busy and important to deal with all of that.”
“King,” said the young and dashing princess.
“I will not be marrying your second son!”
“Rats!” said the king with the terrible temper.
“Well, I am sorry, princess, but that’s all the sons I have in the castle.”
“But I was told that you had three sons,” said the princess.
“No! No! I don’t,” said the king. But just at that moment, the princess looked up and there, descending the stairs was a young man with a book in one hand and a basket of laundry in the other.
“Who’s that?” asked the princess
“No one! No one!” said the king with the terrible temper.
“It is time for you to leave!”
But the princess went up the stairs and began to chat to the young man, and learned that he really was the third son.
(whew – AAAH)
The two continued to have a good old chat. They discussed the book he was reading, and the laundry he was carrying. They talked about the poor and the needy, they talked about their favorite food and he said he had always wanted to try some haggis, and they talked about children and fencing and jousting and taming dragons. Then he told her a joke and she doubled over with laughter. Then she told him a joke and he almost split his sides laughing. They had – fallen head over heels in LOVE!
“King!” announced the young and dashing princess,
“I am going to marry your third son!”
“No! No!” exclaimed the king with the terrible temer
“You can’t take him away and leave me with these other two sons. I’ll go mad! How do you think I got this terrible temper? Never! Never! Guards! Guards!” he called
Immediately the guards surrounded the hall. However, the young and dashing princess grabbed the hand of the third son
And together they ran down the stairs and out the door. They jumped onto their horses and galloped away upon their galloping horses.
“Stop them! Stop them!” cried the king with the terrible temper
“After them! After them!”
The guards ran out the door, jumped upon their horses and galloped away on their galloping horses.
But the prince and the princess, sped on by the horses, by love, and by the promise of a rosy future, were soon out of sight and into the next land. There they got married and ruled wisely together. Together, they cared for the poor and the needy, they ate haggis every night until children came along and then they ate whatever they children wanted, and of course there was a lot of fencing and jousting and taming the odd dragon now and then and they lived happily for the rest of their days.
So ends the tale of the king with the terrible temper
So, I wonder, if you were trying to pick the perfect prince or princess, who could help you rule the country wisely, what qualities would you look for? What three questions would you ask him or her? Oh, that sounds like a great writing prompt – I bet some of you might have fun writing a story about that!
Hope you enjoyed this special episode dedicated to you, Evana.
Oh, and thanks so much to all of you who have been writing such great reviews for this podcast – we are ever so grateful to you. If you are loving this podcast, please consider subscribing, reviewing and sharing it with others. And you might even want to subscribe to our patreon and get some great perks, like coloring sheets, stickers and much more at www.journeywithstory.com
Cheerio then, join me next time for Journey with Story.